Top 10 Sunday: Dumb Questions Asked Of Vegans


Whoever said there’s no such thing as a dumb question was most certainly not vegan. Like any minority community, we get our fair share of questions, many which are good, some fair and others…maddone!


Albeit this list could easily surpass 300, we’ve decided to spare you the “agita” and stick with a nice round, low number like 10. After all, you only have so many hairs on your head. It’s time to finally put the questions to bed by just answering them…duh! Bring on the snark, kids!

Top 10 Dumb Questions Asked Of Vegans

1. What do you eat? 

Level 5 Vegan Simpsons

You heard about Level 5 vegans, right? They don’t eat anything that casts a shadow. Well, they’re not TRUE vegans. You have to be at least Level 8, only eating electrons and protons.

2. So, that means you eat chicken & fish, right?


First of all, they are the same. Just ask Jessica Simpson a la 2003.

Now the vegan part of the question? See the answer to Question 1.

3. Don’t you miss the taste of meat?  


Maybe if we were vampires, but we’re VEGAN. The only thing we miss are things we haven’t yet veganized. Now, enjoy this lovely ditty from Big Fat Vegan Radio!

4. Why do you care more about animals than people?  


Did you know that humans were also animals? We may like cats a smidge more than humans. By a smidge, we mean A LOT.

5. Are you going to be offended if I eat <insert animal product here>? 


If you make a face like that guy, then of course! Anyone would be (meat eaters, included).

6. How do you dress for winter without wool or leather?

Defiant: This hardy jogger was spotted running shirtless through New York's Central Park in spite of the layers of snow  Read more:  Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

Being at least a Level 8, the electrons and protons we absorb also become shields of warmth. That’s why we NEVER catch colds or get sick.

7. What kind of vegan are you?  


Ummmm… the vegan kind?

8. Is veganism a religion?


Of course! Everything’s a religion nowadays. We have a Vegan Vatican called Vedge, which is in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. There’s Pope Rich Landau in that photo. He’s drinking from the Chalice of Barnivore! Now, let the choir sing! “It’s like a prayer. I’ll take you there…to Veganville”

9. Isn’t it expensive to be vegan?

You do know that Whole Foods is called Whole Paycheck for a reason? I mean we’re all broke!

BTW, WTF is FLAP STEAK? Scratch that. we already know. (Sad face)

10. Can we still be friends, now that you’re vegan?


Sure, we can be friends, as long you as don’t ask us any more dumb questions about being vegan. Honestly, we aren’t THAT different.

Dishonorable mention: Where do you get your protein? Yep. THAT question. 


Of course, this is all in jest! We’re more than happy to answer any questions you have about sincerely going vegan! Just post them in the comments or click on the “CONTACT US” link.

Top 10 Sunday: Vegan Addictions


Hey kids! We’re back with another Top 10 List for you this week! Mac broke out the old Commodore 64 and dot matrix printer to crunch the numbers herself this time!

This week’s Top 10 theme: VEGAN ADDICTIONS

Yeah, there’s that one…or two…or TEN things we cannot live without in our vegan lives, right? So, let’s kick things off!

1. NOOCH (aka Nutritional Yeast)

This stuff is like crack and should probably be sold on the black market!  Thanks to Braggs and Whole Foods, it’s not! PHEW! Powdered dairy-free cheesiness that puts the <blank> in <blank>!

Best to buy in bulk and re-stock when you’re about 10 cups away from the bottom. It’ll go that quickly!

2. Kale

Did you know that vegans are hipsters? Hipsters are the main contributor to the global kale shortage, because all we do is drink green juices! Oh, the IRON-y! YES! Well, okay, maybe there’s not really a green goodness drought. Businesses are slinging kale chips and salads like it’s nobody’s business.

Check this article from The Daily Mail

Seriously, we always wanted to be deemed hipsters. SQUEEEEE!

3. Instagram

Source: Robyn Lazara & Demetrius J Bagley
Source: Robyn Lazara & Demetrius J Bagley

Food porn. ‘Nuff said

BTW, our account is @thefoodduo!

4. Vegan stickers


Who remembers getting the Scholastic Book Club monthly order form and just wanting all of the sticker books? Ok. That was just Macaroon, but hey! What’s the deal with all of the vegan stickers, and why do we love them so much?

5. Cookbooks


You got em! We got em! Who’s got more? Even if the dishes aren’t vegan, you buy cookbooks to try and veganize everything in them too, right?

6. Blogs


Everyone and their momma’s got a vegan blog. You read them all and even store on Evernote, Feedly or Pocket! You live for blogrolls to check for new ones! BTW, we thank you for stopping by!

7. The Cinnamon Snail


Even if you’re not in NYC, you’re addicted to Adam Sobel and his food truck! Why? Because who else is going to make you a Habanero Cauliflower Buffalo Wing Sub (special) and a Hulk Hogan Fudgie Wudgie (donut)!

8. Meetups & potlucks


Vegans like being social. Even the anti-social show, especially when there’s free food and a lack of being called the “weird one.” Add booze to the mix, a la Vegan Drinks, and well…there ain’t no party like a vegan party…

Yeah, all vegans are weird, but we love them!

9. Seitan


Hail Seitan! Where’d you get your protein? From my pantry, yo! Get some vital wheat gluten, spices and water. Work it like you’re making Flubber…we mean, kneading dough. Portion it. Wrap it. Steam it. You’re good! Or, you could just buy some by Upton’s Naturals

10. Vegan shoes


Mac loves shoes, especially MooShoes. Don’t you?

Our First Top 10: You Know You’re Vegan When…


Whether you’re new to our community or have been vegan so long that you predate the term, we all share similar views and see things through a plant-based lens. Every week Mac & I are going to post a Top 10 list related to veganism. This new feature will afford you a font of invaluable facts that quite frankly no true vegan can live without. Recently we’ve teamed with the good folks at NASA who’ve trained us on how to marshal some of the world’s most sophisticated computers to procure data and finalize our Top 10 results.

NASA trained us to use this extremely sophisticated machine.
Our data crunching machine. Source:

So without further adieu, here’s the list. You Know You’re Vegan When

1. Half of your wardrobe consists of graphic tees for vegan businesses, animal sanctuaries or organizations.


2. You use the “quotes’ sign when referring to a veganized/faux meat product, even in the company of fellow vegans!


3. You ask the server “Is everything here vegan?” even when you’re dining at a vegan restaurant.

vegan nom 

4. You consider nooch to be a food group.


5. You’re willing to travel ridiculously long distances to hit up a new vegan spot.

6. At holiday gatherings, the homemade vegan desserts that you slaved to make are gobbled up by non-vegans and you’re stuck with nothing!


7. Your omni-coworkers suggest that you “have a salad” when the company treats for lunch.

sb10069429a-002.jpg Food Salad

8. You literally gasp when a hot new vegan product appears at your local store.  (Who are those good looking folks?!)



9. You never get tired of watching cute animal videos on YouTube.

10. While waiting at the checkout line, you play “Spot the Vegan”  by peering at other shopper’s carts.


Join us next Sunday for another Top 10 list! Anything thing you want to see us cover in a Top 10? Post in the comments!