Top 10 Sunday: Dumb Questions Asked Of Vegans

top-10-summer

Whoever said there’s no such thing as a dumb question was most certainly not vegan. Like any minority community, we get our fair share of questions, many which are good, some fair and others…maddone!

Source: http://viewfromthedolequeue.wordpress.com/
Source: viewfromthedolequeue.wordpress.com

Albeit this list could easily surpass 300, we’ve decided to spare you the “agita” and stick with a nice round, low number like 10. After all, you only have so many hairs on your head. It’s time to finally put the questions to bed by just answering them…duh! Bring on the snark, kids!

Top 10 Dumb Questions Asked Of Vegans

1. What do you eat? 

Level 5 Vegan Simpsons
Quickmeme.com

You heard about Level 5 vegans, right? They don’t eat anything that casts a shadow. Well, they’re not TRUE vegans. You have to be at least Level 8, only eating electrons and protons.

2. So, that means you eat chicken & fish, right?

Source: officeplayground.com
Source: officeplayground.com

First of all, they are the same. Just ask Jessica Simpson a la 2003.

Now the vegan part of the question? See the answer to Question 1.

3. Don’t you miss the taste of meat?  

Source: tremendoustraining.co.uk
Source: tremendoustraining.co.uk

Maybe if we were vampires, but we’re VEGAN. The only thing we miss are things we haven’t yet veganized. Now, enjoy this lovely ditty from Big Fat Vegan Radio!

4. Why do you care more about animals than people?  

Source: etsy.com
Source: etsy.com

Did you know that humans were also animals? We may like cats a smidge more than humans. By a smidge, we mean A LOT.

5. Are you going to be offended if I eat <insert animal product here>? 

Source: kitchentreaty.com
Source: kitchentreaty.com

If you make a face like that guy, then of course! Anyone would be (meat eaters, included).

6. How do you dress for winter without wool or leather?

Defiant: This hardy jogger was spotted running shirtless through New York's Central Park in spite of the layers of snow  Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2276062/Thousands-Britons-stranded-America-flights-Britain-grounded-snow-batters-US-east-coast.html#ixzz39xGu8L3w  Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
Source: dailymail.co.uk

Being at least a Level 8, the electrons and protons we absorb also become shields of warmth. That’s why we NEVER catch colds or get sick.

7. What kind of vegan are you?  

Source: allnaturalpetcare.com
Source: http://allnaturalpetcare.com

Ummmm… the vegan kind?

8. Is veganism a religion?

Source: blog.cityeats.com

Of course! Everything’s a religion nowadays. We have a Vegan Vatican called Vedge, which is in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. There’s Pope Rich Landau in that photo. He’s drinking from the Chalice of Barnivore! Now, let the choir sing! “It’s like a prayer. I’ll take you there…to Veganville”

9. Isn’t it expensive to be vegan?  

keepitupdavid.files.wordpress.com
keepitupdavid.files.wordpress.com

You do know that Whole Foods is called Whole Paycheck for a reason? I mean we’re all broke!

BTW, WTF is FLAP STEAK? Scratch that. we already know. (Sad face)

10. Can we still be friends, now that you’re vegan?

Source: veganoutreach.org
Source: veganoutreach.org

Sure, we can be friends, as long you as don’t ask us any more dumb questions about being vegan. Honestly, we aren’t THAT different.

Dishonorable mention: Where do you get your protein? Yep. THAT question. 

Source: lorinbarnold.com
Source: lorinbarnold.com

Of course, this is all in jest! We’re more than happy to answer any questions you have about sincerely going vegan! Just post them in the comments or click on the “CONTACT US” link.

Top 10 Sunday: Vegan Addictions

toptenlogoccss
Source: blog.colorincolorado.org

Hey kids! We’re back with another Top 10 List for you this week! Mac broke out the old Commodore 64 and dot matrix printer to crunch the numbers herself this time!

This week’s Top 10 theme: VEGAN ADDICTIONS

Yeah, there’s that one…or two…or TEN things we cannot live without in our vegan lives, right? So, let’s kick things off!

1. NOOCH (aka Nutritional Yeast)

Source:quickmeme.com
Source:quickmeme.com

This stuff is like crack and should probably be sold on the black market!  Thanks to Braggs and Whole Foods, it’s not! PHEW! Powdered dairy-free cheesiness that puts the <blank> in <blank>!

Best to buy in bulk and re-stock when you’re about 10 cups away from the bottom. It’ll go that quickly!

2. Kale

Source:elephantjournal.com
Source:elephantjournal.com

Did you know that vegans are hipsters? Hipsters are the main contributor to the global kale shortage, because all we do is drink green juices! Oh, the IRON-y! YES! Well, okay, maybe there’s not really a green goodness drought. Businesses are slinging kale chips and salads like it’s nobody’s business.

Check this article from The Daily Mail

Seriously, we always wanted to be deemed hipsters. SQUEEEEE!

3. Instagram

Source: Robyn Lazara & Demetrius J Bagley
Source: Robyn Lazara & Demetrius J Bagley

Food porn. ‘Nuff said

BTW, our account is @thefoodduo!

4. Vegan stickers

Source: omwoods.blogspot.com
Source: omwoods.blogspot.com

Who remembers getting the Scholastic Book Club monthly order form and just wanting all of the sticker books? Ok. That was just Macaroon, but hey! What’s the deal with all of the vegan stickers, and why do we love them so much?

5. Cookbooks

Surce: thekitchenrebellion.com
Surce: thekitchenrebellion.com

You got em! We got em! Who’s got more? Even if the dishes aren’t vegan, you buy cookbooks to try and veganize everything in them too, right?

6. Blogs

Source: ChicagoNow.com
Source: ChicagoNow.com

Everyone and their momma’s got a vegan blog. You read them all and even store on Evernote, Feedly or Pocket! You live for blogrolls to check for new ones! BTW, we thank you for stopping by!

7. The Cinnamon Snail

Source: veganmainstream.com
Source: veganmainstream.com

Even if you’re not in NYC, you’re addicted to Adam Sobel and his food truck! Why? Because who else is going to make you a Habanero Cauliflower Buffalo Wing Sub (special) and a Hulk Hogan Fudgie Wudgie (donut)!

8. Meetups & potlucks

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Vegans like being social. Even the anti-social show, especially when there’s free food and a lack of being called the “weird one.” Add booze to the mix, a la Vegan Drinks, and well…there ain’t no party like a vegan party…

Yeah, all vegans are weird, but we love them!

9. Seitan

Source: uptonsnaturals.com
Source: uptonsnaturals.com

Hail Seitan! Where’d you get your protein? From my pantry, yo! Get some vital wheat gluten, spices and water. Work it like you’re making Flubber…we mean, kneading dough. Portion it. Wrap it. Steam it. You’re good! Or, you could just buy some by Upton’s Naturals

10. Vegan shoes

Source: blog.nativefoods.com
Source: blog.nativefoods.com

Mac loves shoes, especially MooShoes. Don’t you?

Our First Top 10: You Know You’re Vegan When…

toptenlogoccss
Source: blog.colorincolorado.org

Whether you’re new to our community or have been vegan so long that you predate the term, we all share similar views and see things through a plant-based lens. Every week Mac & I are going to post a Top 10 list related to veganism. This new feature will afford you a font of invaluable facts that quite frankly no true vegan can live without. Recently we’ve teamed with the good folks at NASA who’ve trained us on how to marshal some of the world’s most sophisticated computers to procure data and finalize our Top 10 results.

NASA trained us to use this extremely sophisticated machine.
Our data crunching machine. Source: classiccmp.org

So without further adieu, here’s the list. You Know You’re Vegan When

1. Half of your wardrobe consists of graphic tees for vegan businesses, animal sanctuaries or organizations.

rawvegan
Source:therawadvantage.com

2. You use the “quotes’ sign when referring to a veganized/faux meat product, even in the company of fellow vegans!

DrEvilQuote
Source:squibbage.blogspot.com

3. You ask the server “Is everything here vegan?” even when you’re dining at a vegan restaurant.

vegan nom
Source:thevegannom.blogspot.com 

4. You consider nooch to be a food group.

noochvanillabeanlean
Source:vanillabeanlean.com

5. You’re willing to travel ridiculously long distances to hit up a new vegan spot.

uzbrianthacker.tv
Source:brianthacker.com

6. At holiday gatherings, the homemade vegan desserts that you slaved to make are gobbled up by non-vegans and you’re stuck with nothing!

cakechooser
Source:cakechooser.com

7. Your omni-coworkers suggest that you “have a salad” when the company treats for lunch.

sb10069429a-002.jpg Food Salad
Source:inmyskinnygenes.com

8. You literally gasp when a hot new vegan product appears at your local store.  (Who are those good looking folks?!)

macart

 

9. You never get tired of watching cute animal videos on YouTube.

Source:youtube.com

10. While waiting at the checkout line, you play “Spot the Vegan”  by peering at other shopper’s carts.

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Source:gettyimages.com

Join us next Sunday for another Top 10 list! Anything thing you want to see us cover in a Top 10? Post in the comments!